FEEL GOOD BY BEING HONEST

I was recently reminded of the importance and meaning of honesty and trust. A few weeks ago, during my travels, I met a very wonderful person. We started to develop a very nice friendship. After a couple of weeks into our budding friendship, somebody repeatedly filled my new found friend with negative thoughts about me. This caused my new friend to have doubts about my honesty and trustworthiness. Initially, I was confused and hurt. Why would somebody who didn’t even know me, tell my new friend such things?! How could our friendship be so easily jeopardized?! Then, as I’ve talked about in previous articles, I remembered to “Accept What Is” … this reminded me that “the sincere person does the right thing without trying, understands the truth without thinking, and acts in keeping with the moment”…

Then I asked myself this question: Have you ever met a completely honest person? What would that person even be like? A completely honest person would communicate exactly what they’re experiencing; their thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fantasies. If this level of intimacy sounds frightening to you, then you’re in good company. All of us have thoughts and feelings we judge inappropriate and not in keeping with the image we project. We judge these thoughts as too ugly to accept, let alone reveal. We deny these creations and hide them from others. In her book, Mutant Message Downunder, Marlo Morgan describes her honesty training with the Real People of the Australian Outback. The Real People had her express every thought in her head on every subject, especially taboo subjects, until she became clear, open, and empty with no secrets. With this clarity came her ability to telepathically communicate with them.

We too can achieve spectacular gains in self-awareness by simply telling the truth about our lives, our thoughts, and our feelings. The rewards for doing so are dramatic and immediate. When telling the truth we experience an immediate release of body tension, an increase in clarity of mind, and a perceptible feeling of well-being. These points bear repeating: when telling the truth we experience (1) an immediate release of body tension, (2) an increase in clarity of mind, and (3) a perceptible feeling of well-being. Telling the truth is a simple prescription for physical, mental and spiritual health.

Being honest requires that we remember who we are. You see, each of us are extraordinary actors; we play many roles in the story we call our life. It is these roles that we often see on tombstones: “loving parent”, “faithful spouse”, “brave soldier”.

Like a good actor, we lose ourselves in our roles and any behavior that is out of character is carefully hidden or lied about. We fabricate, conceal, and withhold routinely to protect our roles that we project to the world. We rationalize our blatant lying. We convince ourselves that the lied-to person cannot handle the truth or some other such nonsense. In truth, our own fear of disapproval compels us to lie. We fear that our role has been undermined, we fear that people won’t approve of us when we are out of character. We feel compelled to have a coherent story to tell: a past that fits within society’s expectations, a present that is busy with activity, and a future that will make everyone proud of us. When we remember that we are playing a role and that we can change that role, we become free to live in the moment. A sincere person, comfortable playing any role, does not assert that they ARE that role. They remember that they exist outside of the role and the play; they remember that they’re writing the story. Seeking not to please or manipulate, but rather to live, the sincere person radiates clarity and integrity; wholeness.

The first practical step towards wholeness is to forgive ourselves for thoughts and actions we’ve hidden from the world. When we accept all our thoughts, feelings, and actions we begin to integrate them. Behind our facades lies our real self; the innocent, vulnerable “I” that we were as infants. The “I” that could calmly look another person in the eye with love and appreciation.

Integrity (wholeness) is not about living up to some high moral standards. It’s about being real about our humanness. By fully accepting all of ourselves; the evil thoughts, the perverted fantasies, and the ugly feelings; we drop the barriers that keep us separate. Handling secrets and denied creations requires courage. Yet, by accepting and expressing our secrets we open ourselves to the rich, alive experience of integration with ourselves, others, and the world.

Honesty means there are no contradictions or discrepancies in thoughts, words, or actions. To be honest to one’s real self and task earns trust and inspires faith in others. Honesty is never to misuse that which is given in trust.

Honesty is a clear conscience “before myself and before my fellow human beings.” Honesty is the awareness of what is right and appropriate in one’s role, one’s behavior, and one’s relationship. With honesty, there is no hypocrisy or artificiality which create confusion and mistrust in the minds and lives of others. Honesty makes for a life of integrity because the inner and outer selves are a mirror image.

Honesty is to speak that which is thought and to do that which is spoken. There are no contradictions or discrepancies in thoughts, words, or actions. Such integration provides clarity and example to others. To have one form internally and another form externally creates barriers and can cause damage, since one would neither be able to come close to anyone else, nor would others want to be close. Some think, “I am honest, but no one understands me.” That is not honest. Honesty is as distinct as a flawless diamond which can never remain hidden. The worth is visible in one’s actions.

When the mirror of the self is clean, feelings, nature, motives, and objectives are clearly visible, and the individual reflects trustworthiness. There is the saying, “The boat of truth may rock, but it will never sink.” Even with honesty, the boat sometimes rocks, but trustworthiness guarantees the boat will not sink. The courage of truth makes one worthy of trust.

To be trusted and to trust provide the foundation and cohesion necessary for untarnished relationships. It is also necessary to share with honesty the feelings and motives of one another. When there is honesty and cleanliness, there is also closeness.

Practicing honesty before ourselves and before others makes us Feel Good … Be honest and Feel Good …

… the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you …

rjsilverfox

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007 at 11:14 am and is filed under Feel Good. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.